Summer and our purpose in life

# Core Points

1. **Commemoration and Reflection** The group marks the anniversary of Mark’s death, reflecting on grief, legacy, and the founding of their community website, Women Matters.

2. **Seasonal Transition and Summer Plans** Members discuss summer’s arrival, personal summer activities, and how they plan to enter and emerge from the summer period, including breaks and travels.

3. **Personal Check-ins and Life Updates** Each member shares current personal and family experiences, including health, celebrations, travels, and interactions with younger generations.

4. **Exploration of Life Purpose** The central theme revolves around the idea of human purpose—its nature, evolution, and role in mental health and fulfillment.

5. **Mental Health and Community Support** Discussions highlight challenges around mental health, especially in isolated or rural communities like Montana, and the lack of emotional/psychological support compared to physical support.

6. **Art, Creativity, and Social Change** Art and creative expression, particularly theater and performance, are emphasized as powerful tools for personal healing and social transformation.

7. **Generational and Cultural Differences** The group reflects on differences in attitudes toward mental health, language, and community support across generations and cultures.

8. **Resilience and Community as Sustenance** The importance of community, connection, and shared purpose as sources of resilience and healing repeatedly surfaces as a key sustaining force.

# Key Conclusions

1. **Purpose Is Fluid and Evolving** Purpose is not a fixed destination but an unfolding journey that may change over time and requires ongoing nurturing and reflection.

2. **Connection Between Purpose and Mental Health** A clear sense of purpose can mitigate feelings of depression and loneliness, while lack of purpose contributes significantly to mental health struggles.

3. **Art and Creativity Are Vital for Meaning** Engaging in creative work or art can provide profound meaning and motivation to continue through hardship.

4. **Community and Support Are Crucial** Emotional and psychological support systems are essential, particularly in isolated or rural areas where practical help is more common but emotional help is lacking.

5. **Intergenerational Dialogue Enhances Understanding** Bridging age gaps and involving different generations in conversations about purpose and mental health enriches collective insight and fosters empathy.

6. **Societal Changes Are Needed for Mental Health Awareness** Stigma around mental health persists in many places; changing cultural attitudes and increasing open dialogue are necessary steps for progress.

7. **Personal Stories Inspire Collective Healing** Sharing individual experiences of grief, recovery, and purpose contributes to a deeper sense of connection and mutual support within the group.

# Important Details

1. **Mark’s Passing and Legacy** Mark’s death seven years ago is a poignant moment for the group, symbolizing both loss and the founding of Women Matters.

2. **Summer Experiences** Members report on summer heat, lack of air conditioning, celebrations like diamond wedding anniversaries, local tourism challenges, and family visits.

3. **Mental Health Project in Montana** A theatrical project in Montana addresses high suicide rates by fostering community dialogue and trust, especially between youth and adults, using creative performance and workshops.

4. **Personal Stories of Struggle and Resilience** Members recount experiences with family illnesses, grief, recovery from cancer treatments, and rediscovering purpose through photography, writing, and art.

5. **Generational Mental Health Stigma** Older generations often viewed mental illness as “madness,” leading to silence and lack of support, whereas younger generations have more awareness but still face challenges.

6. **Economic and Social Barriers** Rising living costs, such as in Austria, affect lifestyle choices and access to opportunities, including travel and volunteering.

7. **Language and Cultural Reflections** Discussions touch on the musicality of English versus German and how language reflects personality and cultural identity.

8. **Role of Older Adults and Activism** Some members focus their purpose on activism, supporting older adults, and using their experience to inspire and assist others.

9. **Group Dynamics and Technology** The group appreciates technological tools like Zoom for maintaining connection and facilitating rich dialogue despite physical distance.

10. **Support Offers Within the Group** Members offer each other personal support, including grief processing and creative collaboration, reinforcing the community’s strength.

00:00:03 – 00:01:39 We are the women of women matters and it’s the very last day of June and actually seven years ago Mark died right here in front of me on the on the sofa and this morning we did a little um commemoration uh gathering on his uh grave. So it’s a special day also for the wisdom factory for women matters because Mark and I together we count we counted we founded the the website and all these things. So looking back was a good time. So let’s see what we will talk about. It’s quite warm. Summer is really coming 00:00:50 – 00:02:19 and we might talk about what is summer? What meaning does it have for us? And how do we enter into summer? And how have we been so far? And how will we be after the summer? After the summer break, we will have a summer break. So, first uh check in. Mona, I give over to you. Okay. Thank you. Well, it’s hot in Vienna as well. And my husband and I, we just had breakfast on the balcony at I don’t know around 8:00 and then we closed all the windows. And ever since uh I have some Yeah, I have some fresh air, but I don’t 00:01:35 – 00:03:14 have a climate. What do you call it? Anyway, uh air conditioner. Yeah, sorry. Thank you. Um I lived in New York 9 years with air conditioners. No problem. But my husband sort of refuses to install one here. So, we’ll see. As I told you, I had a diamond wedding anniversary celebration uh on the 21st. And yeah, it was a great it was really great and we enjoyed it very much. And we just found out that we are saving a lot of money by not going on vacation which we usually did uh to one of our lakes because Austria has become 00:02:25 – 00:03:50 extremely expensive and it’s e probably cheaper if you go to the I don’t know Maladon or somewhere. So it’s just ridiculous how the prices and I I wonder how they will develop tourism in Austria if they continue at this. Um I pass on to Patrice. Hi. Hi. Sorry my um my computer completely dead and I was going to wait for it to wake up and then I decided I’ll just join on my phone until while it charges. Um hello. Um I am in Portland. Um today it’s going to be very hot and so today’s the first 00:03:13 – 00:04:24 day. Speaking of air conditioning, it’s the first day we’re actually turning on the air conditioning. And I always have to negotiate with Gayen about when we can do that because he doesn’t like to use it. Um unless it’s going to be very hot. Um, we have Galen’s niece and nephew visiting right now. They’re 14 and 15 and um, we’ve been spending a lot of time with them and having a lot of fun and not sleeping enough. Um, they love to play board games and video games and 00:03:48 – 00:05:03 hang out with us. And we went to the Renaissance fair yesterday and watched uh acrobatic clown shows and jousting and uh Gabe the uh Galen’s nephew who’s 15 bought a a drinking horn like a horn from some animal that’s been turned into a drinking vessel and now he’s drinking water out of it at home and just delighted and every he keeps picking it up and getting water and then smiling jovially. while he drinks his water. Um, so that’s been fun to watch. Um, what else have we done with them? We went to 00:04:24 – 00:05:37 a pinball museum on Saturday. Um, anyway, it’s fun to have them around. Um, it’s a snapshot into way way down the road parenting. Um but um they’re really good kids and they they’ve been just really lovely to hang out with and haven’t been, you know, pushing back or complaining too much and when you ask them to clean up, they do and it’s I don’t know, it’s very nice. Anyway, that’s my world right now. Um but I haven’t been here for a while. I’m on summer break from my job 00:05:02 – 00:06:11 um until I’m doing an opera in August and then I go back to the ballet in September. Um, and my summer is completely packed with activities and travel and visitors and things like that. So, um, trying to do, you know, little chores and projects and things along the way, but it’s very busy. Anyway, that’s probably a longer check-in than I need to do, but hello. And I love all of the peach colors. My mother texted me. She said, “Everyone’s wearing peach.” I maybe I should have 00:05:36 – 00:06:50 changed my shirt before I joined. Um I don’t know who hasn’t gone. So I pass it along to anyone who hasn’t gone and if not I pass it along to the conversation. Okay, I’ll go since we said uh Victoria you would go last. Um so I’m here in Vancouver. Uh we left on Saturday morning uh from Victoria. It takes us two days to get here. On the way, we stopped uh at a friend’s uh uh uh so that we could wear there uh very fairly close to Vancouver, but it’s still a 5hour trip to go across from the 00:06:16 – 00:07:31 island um to here. So, you go north first and then we go east. Vancouver Harbor is a very very pretty city. It’s got a beautiful seaw wall. Um it’s very outdoorsy. It’s got good balance of physical activity and wellness and so you see the vibrancy and and people when you’re here the uh buildings that they for mostly for residences are extraordinary in their architecture. So it is a visually uh pleasing place to visit day and night but it is the west coast so it’s also a little wild and its 00:06:53 – 00:07:49 own way. Uh for me this summer uh this was a one trip that we planned. I mean, normally we go to the States for Fourth of July, but we’re not going to the States right now. So, we’re coming, we’re here for Canada Day, and that will be tomorrow. And then, uh, school, of course. And then in the middle of like the third week in July, I’ll be going to Ottawa. And I’m not going for any good reason except to tag along with my husband because my son is coming from the UK to visit our neighbor who he loves. So, 00:07:22 – 00:08:23 we’re going to go all be a part of that. And I have family in Ottawa, so that’ll be lovely. I finished school the end of July, so already it’s feeling like we’re almost done all this classwork. So, I have proposals to do um and to get ready for the ethics board and then we will basically take August off and um except for what I have to do to get through the ethics board. So, that’s sort of our summer. Looking forward to the balance of getting back in the garden. I’ve been trying to do that. It is a 00:07:52 – 00:08:56 it’s a lot of work, but it’s very beautiful and worth it. Um just in terms of a a potential topic uh one of the things I keep coming across because it’s part of my my school work is uh purpose. Why the humans are are the only ones that seem to have purpose and I’ll say seem because I don’t want to leave out any smart animals and I just wonder how important our purpose is to us and and is does our purpose make a difference. So that might be kind of fun and it’s a little bit positive I hope. So that’s my 00:08:24 – 00:09:56 suggestion and over to you Victoria to take it away. Thank you. Um sorry I had to move to another space. Um oh who’s that? Oh it’s two beatrices. Okay. All right. A lot coming and going here. Um let’s see. Uh yeah, I’m just just um actually I I love Well, first of all, I wanted to relate in my checkout wanted to relate to your check-ins. Um that um Heidi, yeah, that’s uh really beautiful. The the anniversary of celebrating the anniversary of Mark’s death and I’m and the um and that this that this is part 00:09:11 – 00:10:12 of his legacy is really beautiful. I I um so I I love it that we’re actually meeting on that day and in a way I’d like to preempt the topic of what are we doing this summer which people have already related in the check-ins to some degree um to to that and connecting maybe with what Gina said about purpose that um I had a three and a half hour um that’s kind of my immediate check-in because I’m still kind of blureyed. totally unexpected three and a half hour phone conversation last night with my 00:09:41 – 00:10:59 best friend in in New York and um who has had a lifetime of of struggle and um is a brilliant brilliant musician and he was saying the only thing that keeps him alive is the fact that he can hear even here on the radio he doesn’t even have a decent sound system anymore which is outrageous but any but he he’s anyway he has a lot of problems but he was saying that um just to hear a beautiful passage of music makes life worthwhile. And that um the world is, you know, is constantly, you know, sort of imploding 00:10:20 – 00:11:38 on him to do his health insurance and his manage his finances and uh organize his things and fix his apartment. and um and he said he he he has to keep going back to he’s a pianist. He has to keep just going back to the piano and playing because um if a day went by and he he didn’t have music, he would he knows he would give up on life. Um, so anyway, that’s kind of a weird check-in, but but it it’s um I’ve sort of that’s kind of my check-in, too, in the sense that I’m um realizing again 00:10:59 – 00:12:12 and again that that what I do intellectually or creatively is what keeps me going and that other things are falling by the wayside and they get me very stressed out. But at the same time, um, I keep, and this is what I said to my friend last night. I said, uh, you know, what what got me through the years after, um, my husband’s death and and, um, Beatatric’s father’s death, um, for for for a number of years. And I I kind of forgot this, not not a mantra, but every morning I would wake up and I 00:11:35 – 00:12:48 would think um if this were my last day on earth, what how would I spend it? And of course it it is fraught because then you can procrastinate all the things you don’t want to do because if it’s your last day on there, too bad other people will figure it out. Um but at the same time it it does give a kind of a thread of purpose and meaning in life that otherwise um I think can can get lost and because I you know so easily fall into complete despair it’s um so anyway in talking to my friend last night I 00:12:12 – 00:13:34 suddenly remembered that first year when my after Conrad died my husband um how what kept me going was this sense of you know if this is my last day to because seeing what his last day was like and seeing what his last year was like and um anyway so that would anyway but I will just uh defer to everybody else. Um uh it’s just yeah that’s kind of a an odd checkin but that’s that’s my immediate check-in. I’m still blurry from this long phone conversation last night. Okay, so my checkin is Yeah, it’s warm. 00:12:53 – 00:14:23 I I like it better warm than cold. It could be a little bit less hot, but it’s already gone down from 39 to 36 more or less. So, you see, every now and then I do this, but if it’s not worse, I don’t feel compromised in my power. So, that’s good. As for the purpose of life, as you know, I think I told you last time that I’m about to to study the gene keys and one of the main keys is the purpose one. And uh yeah, that’s uh it’s sort of lining up my what I have actually done. 00:13:38 – 00:15:06 It’s only confirming that I have to continue to do that. come out of the confusion and get into clarity and get into into let’s say some way of of leadership for for other people to to be inspired or whatever. So um I think many of these things also the the astrological card how do you say card uh um then I got to know that again and the beginning of the year it all shows me that I actually did what was what I was meant to do. Maybe it’s not perfect but I I took the right road and this is that’s 00:14:21 – 00:15:38 good. So what keeps me going is to to to go get on because it’s not yet finished the path you know it’s always some more to to encounter some more to learn and one of the things to learn is how to manage the water problem. How how maybe after we have talked we I go up to the vegetable garden because when it is so hot I might give them water twice a day because otherwise you know when it rained last week I uh thought it had rained enough and I didn’t water the day afterwards and that 00:15:00 – 00:16:25 was not good. That has interrupted the the production. No. So I should have gone I was too lazy. Now I have the consequence that many of the nice zucchinis went like yellow and so now I have to give more water so that they can continue to grow. I will go to Germany next week for three weeks and uh I have people here who hopefully do the work of watering everything and taking care of her doggy and cats. So I think the purpose we all have in life is being happy [Music] and I hope we arrive at that in ever 00:15:43 – 00:17:02 more ever more degrees so far to me. How do you think that you have followed your purpose? What you were meant to do? Why do the thing I just picked up on and I I don’t necessarily want to answer the question yet, but the fact that you made an analogy to the garden and the routine and the nurturing. Um I think that’s maybe part of purpose is that sometimes it’s not perfect in its execution, but you you nurture it and it can change. So I’m you know at the moment the purpose is the garden but I think 00:16:28 – 00:17:43 the nurture came in there for me that you can’t rely on everybody else. Sometimes you have to do something. I think the other thing Oh, go ahead. that came back to mind is just that is that you know it used to be in the hippie days people graduated from school and then went off to find their purpose and meaning of life and I think that we may have uh maybe you found it at that time maybe you didn’t but isn’t it’s occurs to me that it’s not over when you’ve just graduated and that maybe 00:17:24 – 00:18:41 we’re constantly looking for it and maybe we haven’t put um enough emphasis that there’s on this purpose in life because in my school work um this lack of purpose apparently puts people in a terrible terrible state of depression and loneliness. So there must be some reason why we have purpose. Just jump in. I think the purpose is also unfolding and uh you never know exactly what it is but when you listen into it and then you see after a while I can look back and see oh there is the red line and I was 00:18:06 – 00:19:13 following the red line without knowing it. So later you know everything better. Victoria you wanted to say something. Go ahead. Oh no no no. I was that was that was just silliness. I I was saying as I was as I was watching all of you, I I was I’m resisting this powerful impulse to jump up and look for an apricot colored shirt. That’s all it was. Um you’ll have to put up with this blue, but blue goes well with apricot. Um Oh, now Beatric is going to She’s going to She probably has 00:18:39 – 00:19:50 one right there. I bet she does. She closets right behind her. Um Um Let’s see. Now to get serious again, the the purpose. Um yeah, I think what you said, Gina, that that’s in fact um you know, my my best friend and I both anyway have a predisposition to depression. And what we were talking about was what um you know, if we just vanished off the face of the earth, would it matter? Not not like we weren’t really talking about that, but the sense that we have and as we get older, what what is it it’s 00:19:14 – 00:20:28 becoming increasingly pressing is the desire that that we have as we grow older, we have more and more and more that we feel we can contribute in terms of understanding or insight um in terms of you know because we’re both in the arts. Um we’ve had we’ve had all kinds of insights into things that we would like to pass on. Um, okay. All right. I’m gonna have to do it next. Um, and and that’s that’s what’s painful is when you know you have so much that you want to contribute, 00:19:51 – 00:20:52 but it’s, you know, we’re in this huge labyrinth of that it’s uh h how do you, you know, I have a friend that that told me once when I I said, you know, I wish I could teach. and she said, “Oh, that’s no problem.” She said, “Just write a general application and send out about 120 per day to various institutions. Just go, you know, back in those days it was just look in the phone book and just start sending them out.” And um and that was back in the day where you had to pay 00:20:21 – 00:21:24 postage, too. And I thought if I had that kind of energy, I would just go in the street corner and, you know, busk. I’d play the violin on the street corner for the passerby. It’s um it’s not that easy, you know. It’s it’s um and as Monia was just observing about the how expensive Austria’s become, everything I I’ve have a number of friends that have just come back from various travels and saying that, you know, even if you want to do something in terms of like um volunteering like for a charitable 00:20:53 – 00:21:59 organization or or some kind of charitable cause, you have to raise a lot of money in advance just to do that. that all of a sudden we’re it’s it’s things are getting really difficult. It’s not like, you know, when I read Hemingway’s diaries, he’s just popping around all over Europe and staying here and staying there and writing his novels and or people all the people that lived in New York um back in, you know, the early part of the century, the last century, how all the artists could live 00:21:25 – 00:22:57 in New York. Her trout. So says something or other. Okay, I’m going to be quiet now and get my uh shirt. Oh, now Gout and I are matching. The blue brigade has come in to save the day. To let you know, Victoria was preoccupied because we are all in this color and she was a dark. So Grow, it’s nice that you come. I was thinking about you and wanted to write to you and asking you how things are going and maybe you do a check in and let us know. I know that our um conversation we had about your last time when you were here 00:22:12 – 00:24:16 two four weeks ago, I had people who were contacting me and said it was very very very touching when they listen. Oh, that’s good. this. Yeah. Check in. And sorry I’m late. It’s Yeah. Um you mean besides the heat. Uh yeah, it’s a lot lately. And on Wednesday, my husband has his fourth treatment. So, and on Thursday, we had this we have a funeral. My cousin died uh but she was 87 but still of punus cancer. So it was heavy heavy week. Also what I realized was while being with her I didn’t have much 00:23:26 – 00:25:19 contact with her but she was like part of the family kind of and it was like her her going or her leaving um brought a lot of old topics back to the surface. the unsolved old family stuff. And it also brought our siblings together, but because she was the the last of her tribe, her family and they don’t have children. And so who was taking care of the funeral and stuff like that? and my brothers and my sister and I. Me less than the other three. So, it’s yeah, coming together and and doing 00:24:25 – 00:26:02 what’s right. Something like that. Even though it’s not so easy with her. It was not easy with her. Yeah. So that happened and um yeah, I’m still in that just taking care and but but the the the really good part is he’s getting into the he’s a photographer and he couldn’t even think about it. He couldn’t read any magazines or anything like that. So now he’s back in having thoughts about how how it will go after the treatment and what kind of career could he have because I mean the people don’t 00:25:16 – 00:26:50 wait for you to to come back. Um because when they have events they need a photographer and if he’s good that’s it. So, so just to that he’s thinking about writing a lot and and so it’s I I see more of him coming back to life. That’s that’s really nice. Yep. So, a little bit uh come coming together with the topic. We were talking about purpose and now he is still rediscovering purpose after the disastrous uh uh breaking out of the of the illness. No. So that’s if you see 00:26:04 – 00:27:46 that in this way. Yeah. It’s it’s kind of like what’s the purpose? I mean, he could just give in, but he’s still like, how can I express myself without having this schedule so to be on the road almost every day? So, how how can I manage something and have and earn enough money? So, he’s thinking about uh selling books and his prints and things like that. So, um, so he was more in the event thing and now he might be more in the Yeah. just showing his art. Yeah. So, I I’ll see. But it’s about 00:26:54 – 00:28:20 purpose. Yeah. It’s about And as Ellie Drake says, purpose is a river. It’s not stat aesthetic. It’s kind of changing about you. Yeah. Talking about our purpose. What is yours? And then we give over to Beatric. I’m curious how yours is developing. Um give me a thought on this. So let’s move on and and I come back to Would you like me to talk about your purpose? We are you are coming to to to talk with us about four or five years you know and I saw already quite a development. I’m wondering how you see 00:27:43 – 00:29:13 that. Oh that’s interesting. I wonder what other people see. Um well I this last not last weekend the weekend before whatever the weekend before this yesterday um I went up to Seattle for a 3-day uh workshop with uh someone named Michael RH. He’s a theater maker and teacher and um I don’t know if you would say an activist, but he’s done a lot of work like using theater and using theater techniques to interact with um government policies and communities and to create change in the 00:28:28 – 00:29:34 community. So it’s it’s kind of act actionoriented um theatrical work. Um, and the workshop was called facilitating trust. Um, I actually when I signed up, I didn’t notice the word trust. I actually didn’t notice the word trust until I came back and was reviewing notes and looking back at the website. I I just, oh, it’s a facilitation workshop. And I read the description and I was all excited about it. Um, and then came back and realized it was about facilitating trust. And it made sense in 00:29:01 – 00:30:07 context once I thought about the workshop. But um and it was all about how to bring people together and uh build trust in a in a group of people and build coalition and and how to ma, you know, deal with conflict or differences. And it was very it was very active on your feet. It wasn’t like a seminar where you take notes. We were doing all of these activities and jumping up and pairing up and in groups and um and on the last day, this is very long-winded answer, but I promise I’m getting to something here. on the last 00:29:33 – 00:30:53 day he shared about a project he’s working on in Montana um uh where he talked to a bunch of leaders in the community to find out what was something that they felt like was a the biggest concern in the state that maybe wasn’t a political topic but was maybe a few steps removed. Um and the answer was mental health. Um Montana has the highest rate of suicide in the country um and the lowest rate of uh providers and and people who can support and help. But the biggest problem is that people 00:30:13 – 00:31:21 don’t talk about it. Um they’re in Montana they’re really good at taking care of each other with physical needs. If a neighbor needs a wheelchair or someone needs a meal or whatever, people are coming together all the time. But if somebody is depressed or having mental health challenges, nobody talks about it and then that person is just isolated and it gets really bad. And so he took a year and a half to talk to people and then developed this project that he goes to small communities. He goes to the high 00:30:47 – 00:31:57 school. He does a workshop with the high school students asking them what support feels like for them and what they feel like living in this community is like. Then he does a workshop with the adults who work with them and asks the same question, but he also shares what the students have shared about what what they’re saying they need. Then there’s a show that is a mixture of performance performance scenes and kind of big group activities and interaction and all these things. Um and then the real the main 00:31:23 – 00:32:24 event not he doesn’t say it’s the main event to the people he’s coming to but the main event is the next morning where everybody who and in the show is also the text that the students wrote that day. That’s one of the scenes which is this this they make they write this kind of manifesto community care agreement document that says we really need this from our adults in the community. And sometimes it’s like we really need to see our adults uh being sober or we really need to feel 00:31:53 – 00:32:56 like adults care about us for who we are and are not you know whatever it is. The next morning they have a coffee and conversation meeting with everyone who came to the show and people came to the workshop and and that one is led by somebody in the community, an existing leader in the community with the support of of Michael’s team and that’s where they start to brainstorm, okay, well, what can we do or what’s this organization we already have here and how why are we not talking to these people or who’s who has 00:32:25 – 00:33:22 a resource that the other person can use? Um and Michael said that that he’s he later he’ll check he checks in afterwards you know periodically to see how things are going and there are things that have developed like some of the students like will take their manifesto document and go to a town hall meeting and say listen this is important you know we need to do this thing or um they do some of the exercises from the show you know at a football game and people are starting to talk about it 00:32:53 – 00:34:10 anyway it’s really incredible and when he was sharing I know this again long-winded, but he was sharing about this project and I was sitting there and my whole body had this feeling of like this is what I want to do. This is the work I want to do and I’m still trying to kind of unpack it because I don’t, you know, I don’t think I want to move to Montana but and do this particular project. But there was something about using theater and art and creative methods to create actual change in community. And I 00:33:32 – 00:34:37 think there’s also something specific about working with young people and connecting the young people to the other gener like to connecting intergenerationally on something that is like an important topic. And I think for me it’s pro it’s it’s always going to come back to grief because I keep pretending like that’s not my purpose and it it it keeps it keeps coming back and it’s it’s nothing like sets me on fire or excites me the same way and nothing also feels as heavy but 00:34:04 – 00:35:24 um but it reminded me also when I was a teenager um and when my father died I was part of a performance group of other teenagers who had all lost a parent. and we created a show together that we took to um different like assemblies of counselors and therapists or or teachers and or um whatever sympos what it was like always gatherings of people who would benefit from learning about what our experience was and our show was about our experience and so it was an educational show but it was also kind of 00:34:43 – 00:35:38 therapy for us in it and it was creating change I don’t So, there’s some there’s some thread here that I haven’t I you know, I’m still doing the weaving and the stitching and the trying to collage and figure out what it is. But, um anyway, I jumped up at a break at this workshop and I said to Michael, I said, “This is the work I want to do.” And he said, “Great. Let’s have a Zoom call sometime.” So, I need to follow up at some point and figure out what 00:35:11 – 00:36:18 what this really what I don’t know what there’s what potential there is here. But, I was just really impressed with the way that he structured this this thing that he’s doing. And he’s doing it, you know, town by town, city by city, and creating change in a place that especially small small towns that don’t have a lot of engagement or support or yeah, chances to do things like this. Okay, that was my long answer for now. That’s good. What I’m hearing is a little bit what I think 00:35:44 – 00:37:12 all we older people have lived in our lives that we can use our gifts not only for our own purpose. I mean you are dancing and you are playing music and whatever but that then we will be able or we hope to bring it into service to other people. You know this is the topic and you seem to be at this um um threshold already. I came there much later but maybe the younger people it’s quicker now nowadays I don’t know maybe good have you found something in your uh idea of your purpose right now 00:36:28 – 00:38:20 did it change everybody else shared their purpose or nit I I I don’t know I once I had this what’s my mission or what’s my yeah my purpose was being source of appreciation for people and organizations and I think It’s it’s not that specific anymore. I want my presence to make a difference to like through listening through being there as a catalyst. zone. Yeah, it’s in this field that makes sense. You know, that is what happens when we get older that we have also more capacities in this field. I 00:37:46 – 00:39:42 guess I I don’t know. And I’m And I’m very intrigued by what you said, Beatatrice. And I can really resonate with I want to be there. I want to to do that. Yeah. Mona, your purpose. Yes. Well, I was just trying to resonate and one of my purposes, one of my purposes when I by getting older is to have less stress, make things easier for everybody. And uh manage management is uh management of whatever turns up is has become rather important if we don’t have an elevator. How to organize 00:39:01 – 00:41:06 uh food shopping um etc etc. What really struck me about Beatric’s uh contribution um why is Montana so different from all the other states? The the suicide rate in New York is much less. I I just Googled it and they have a very high rate with guns in Montana. suicide rates. Um so that really puzzles me that uh there is such a difference in the states and considering New York City it’s it’s yeah maybe you are more distracted from your own when you live in New York City you are more distracted from being 00:40:03 – 00:42:02 by by yourself than in Mana. So uh that’s a very very fascinating uh topic as such. Uh and up to now suicide hasn’t been a topic at all for me. So, I’m I’m wondering that you really um yeah, I’m impressed that you want to do that at your age already. And yeah, it’s it’s probably a good contribution to society. [Music] But I was really struck um the way you inoned it. Actually for you it’s just natur. It’s natural to say it like this. But um you said um where is it? 00:41:07 – 00:42:54 Going up to Seattle or something like that. Um, where did I wrote it down? Because it was it was like a singing it actually going up to Seattle and it’s we never used it German going up to some place. Yeah. So the English language is uh very very musical. Let’s ask the musician what’s the difference in musicality between English and and German. Victoria. Mhm. Um well actually that’s really interesting because I um my mother my mother used to lament when at a certain point when Beatrice was in 00:42:14 – 00:43:14 her college years it seemed like all the um boys she was dating actually one of them is from Montana so I’m curious to see what what he would contribute in this conversation. Um, but my mother used to decry what she called graduate student speech, which was she said that all of the boys that Beatric was dating, most of whom were in technology or math or the sciences, would talk like this, like robots, and they would never in tone anything. And she would say, “So, how are you doing today?” And they would 00:42:45 – 00:43:59 say, “Oh, I’m fine.” Yeah. And and it and so I think they’re the full range there. And there are people Yeah. Uh uh I think Beatatrice has a um a more musical approach to the language. I think it’s I think it’s more about um more about personality than than about language, of course. I mean, I know you sort of meant it facitiously anyway, but um but it’s interesting about the the years ago, we went a number of times to the island of Catalina, which is off the coast of um more or less like Los 00:43:21 – 00:44:37 Angeles, between Los Angeles, San Diego, which was very famous back in the early uh uh who who founded it? Hurst? No, not Hurst. Um Wrigley. Wriggley. the the the chewing gum man that that then um sponsored the whole the he created the um baseball thing in Chicago and stuff. Anyway, long story short, it was a glamorous place for the Hollywood stars. Um very exciting. People went there. It’s only an hour from the mainland by boat, so it’s very close, but it was like another world. And um 00:43:59 – 00:45:05 it was very renowned and and even my grandparents um you know that that was like lore that my grandparents who had no money at all had actually gone for a little second honeymoon when they were quite elderly to Catalina. It was a big deal and Beatatric and I went there over a number of years um because there were well anyway so I won’t get into a shaggy dog story here but the up what I wanted the reason I wanted to bring it up was that this um this su this depression and alcoholism and suicide thing was something we found 00:44:33 – 00:45:34 out from a young man who was beatric’s age who worked there lived and worked there he was born and bred there and so he was working with the tourist tourism industry all the time. But he said that if he hadn’t gotten, you know, really involved in in getting and he hadn’t gotten that good job, there are very few jobs on the island. He he said he had gone through a phase when he was still very young of um just al you know just drinking all the time. And I said why is that? and he said because there aren’t 00:45:03 – 00:46:20 enough opportunities where um you know so and of course that’s literally an island but I was thinking about Montana and what um Mono was saying and the contrast um between you know when when you have like like Beatress wrote in the chat you have a very small population and a degree of isolation and there are limited possibilities and so you have to have a lot of um uh sort of initiative to create a life for yourself in a world that’s because now that the rural lifestyle you know it’s only the Amish 00:45:41 – 00:46:59 people that have sort of clung to the values of the what I call the olden days in terms of and you’re doing that Heidi you know I mean the the the sense of um one can have a whole life that is dedicated to the land into nature and to farming into producing your own crops and um but to do that you have to have a lot of energy and in our time nowadays um everybody’s you know just looking at a screen and people don’t have that connection cuz Montana um is a really beautiful place isn’t it? You went there 00:46:20 – 00:47:30 Beatric, right? Yeah. Um and I have a friend here whose whose father late father um was from there and um he bought a huge amount of property to save it from people destroying it and developing it. But then the question is how if you’re saving the land but no one’s living on the land. I mean, you know, it becomes this fraught because one of my one of my closest friends who also suffers from depression. It seems like all my friends do. Um is uh got got involved in the Hollywood scene in LA. He’s a he’s a composer and 00:46:55 – 00:48:12 an arranger. And um he got some enormous contracts, fabulous opportunities. And so he moved from New York City to LA. and um couldn’t figure out why he was so miserable cuz he had many more professional opportunities than he did in New York. And one day he was driving his car to another yet another engagement and sitting in heavy traffic and he suddenly realized I’m going insane. I’m the only person I see every day and talk to apart from these professional things is myself and I don’t want to be by myself. And he 00:47:34 – 00:48:47 literally cut all his ties at that moment and uh very dramatically and went back to New York where he said all I have to do is have enough wherewithal to put on some clothes, leave my apartment, go down and get in the subway, even if I’m going nowhere. And I’m surrounded by the hurly burly of human life and activity. And I see people who are um doing worse than I am. I see people who seem to be like me. I see people who are, you know, way beyond me, you know, the the rich and fame, whatever. He 00:48:11 – 00:49:14 said, “But it’s all of humanity.” And he said, “Just the energy.” Then I realized I’m not alone. I’m part of the human race. You It’s like the net thing we were talking about last time in the Fra Brun. Anyway, I’ve talked way too long. Um that was a shaggy dog thing. I’m sorry. But I think it does have to do with with community and that’s what we have even here in this small setting. I have another and and it seems to come together in Montana. It’s like 00:48:48 – 00:50:55 everything that everybody said is happening there or not happening there. And I have a history. Um, two of my siblings, they were in psychiatry, one died in the Yeah. aftermath of the medication. Um, and I think there’s uh like conservativ conservativism like what Beatrice said that um you practical support yes but emotional psychological support this doesn’t exist also in in this in this world like there’s something wrong with you. If you have a broken leg, we can bring you some food. But if you have 00:49:59 – 00:52:10 a broken life, like emotionally, then you cannot deal with it. And I know that my parents couldn’t deal with it. So this was really really hard for them and some awful decisions made. And um so I think if if you don’t have that kind of support and the other stuff on top I mean everything that you said there and nowhere to go and being Yeah. and people cannot deal with it, then then you’re in big trouble. In New York, it’s it’s more usual to have a th therapist. Uh so like lifestyle 00:51:07 – 00:52:45 wise but um to be in this open land and you don’t have that you are not a farmer or you don’t have connections and the family and the neighbors cannot deal with what’s going on. You’re pretty much screwed. As we are an integral group, we can bind it back to the stages states of de stages of development. You know in Montana they are still traditional and very yeah also my parents if you went to a psychologist you would be considered mad. So nobody went on. Yeah. And then the green uh mindset came in 00:51:56 – 00:53:19 and then it was became possible and New York is a very green city, you know. So that’s normal there. But there are also in other countries there are regions where you still would be seen strangely if you told the people that you go to a psychologist or psychotist or something. So I think it’s a developmental thing. Yeah. If my my father said, “Oh, you’re crazy.” It was not like casual like we would say. When he said that, it was really like, you know, I didn’t want to be crazy. I 00:52:37 – 00:54:28 was very, you know, like very good girl. And um whenever he said anything like that, it was really like almost like a diagnosis or something. I will send you to the mental hospital if you don’t behave. So this is in my back still ongoing like Yeah. ah this is crazy. So there was not a casual thing that was a sentence. Yeah. And this is the time of our generation but the generation probably doesn’t have this strong um conditioning on on conventionalism. At least they know that something else 00:53:34 – 00:54:44 exists. We didn’t really dare to to get to know until a certain age, I would say. Do you agree, Tina? Yeah. And I think um you know uh I certainly had a family member who was hospitalized. My mother was a psychiatric nurse as well. So um really understanding that it’s it’s really the absence of support. I mean, there’s certainly chemical reasons why some people might be more challenged than others, but I think frozen. Yeah, she’s she’s had support people when they do that 00:54:22 – 00:55:30 problem. You were frozen for the last minute. Frozen. Yeah. Oh, I love all of mom’s the last sentence. Okay. It’s it’s because of our communication. Um, but I think I’ I’d like to end on a more cheery note as because we are actually highly resilient and with support a lot of good things can happen. And I think Beatric, one of the things that came to mind when you’re talking about art and acting is that you think back to uh Shakespeare and all sorts of plays like plays were put on to 00:54:56 – 00:55:59 often create social change. they would they would show the the the disparity between the rich and the poor and the merch the evil merchant and these sort of things. So I think play and art has a lot in in my schooling. They’re saying photography for instance gard um is a very powerful mechanism for creating social change. So I’m just going to end with purpose. Uh I’ll sum up. I’m a bit of an activist always have been. And I’m just finding my current activism is trying to be supportive of older adults 00:55:27 – 00:57:53 facing problems. So that’s my closing note. Uh, I keep looking at Victoria and I keep wondering whether her crown chakra is just spinning around and around and around closer. Yeah. And I wonder Well, I’m I’m really amazed about your history and you’ve come a long way and you gave us so many beautiful meditations and which you used yourself of course but uh so Maybe this is one of the purposes we all share to support each other here in this group and and obviously beyond and obviously beyond. And beyond. Yeah. 00:56:54 – 00:58:54 What China said. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s my check out and yeah I keep my fingers crossed for Petric for staging whatever she plans to stage and I admire her energy. Uh looking at my grandchildren I know it’s just the energy level is yeah it differs and at over 80 it’s a lot less. So use it well your tric or you still have it. Yeah, my my attention goes to Beatatrice as well because um I really wish you to to find that thing that you where you really can share your gifts in a big way and have fun with it at the same time. 00:58:06 – 00:59:45 even talking about grief and I have uh I just have an like an impulse to reach out to you if you want to. So you can just contact me any time if you want to if you’re open to we have a grief process in we flow and you might be interested in because I think that could make a difference for other people as well. So, if you would like to. Yeah, it’s good to see you ladies again and uh sorry for being late today and missing the last one. So, I have to take the days like they come and uh it’s it’s great to see you again. 00:59:03 – 01:00:28 Well, it’s always I’m I hope that I can uh manage to get up early more often so that I can join so many times I’ve slept through this time slot. Um or I’m at work already. Um, I I want to say, Gertrra, it was your your arrival was perfect with with the color of your shirt to bring in the blue. Um, and it’s actually very nice on my screen. I’ve got the four the four um peach colors on the top and the two blue on the bottom. And it’s very aesthetically pleasing. Um, it’s I’m I’m glad that what I shared was 00:59:46 – 01:01:06 um so meaningful to all of you. It’s it’s really it’s it’s still percolating for me. Um and I’m excited to see what what it turns into. But it is it’s like what you were saying, Heidi, earlier in this meeting of uh looking back and finding the red thread between things. um that sometimes it’s I mean the unfolding of purpose, the unfolding of yeah the work um so it is continues to unfold and I’m sure you know as we continue to meet and um oh my mother joined another time 01:00:26 – 01:01:36 as we continue to meet you know we’ll see we’ll see what I what else I have to share what how things shift and it’s wonderful to hear all of your stories I love your signs. Um, that’s new. That wasn’t a thing before. You really developed a whole system with the with Zoom. Um, and the the note takingaking and the signs. Um, yeah. Anyway, thank you. You you give me, speaking of energy, energy and inspiration, and thank you for being the group you are. And that’s my check out. 01:01:01 – 01:02:20 And Victoria wants to be upside down obviously. do it. I got lying down. I’m sorry. This Go ahead. I’m trying. Do it on um No, I I’m I’m I have another group that that uh last last time I came in late and um and and she almost threw me out. It’s a It’s speaking of psychologists, it’s a it’s a psycho it’s a um group therapy thing and so it’s she’s very strict. So I was trying to check I was trying to make her see that I’m here but I ended up here instead of 01:01:42 – 01:02:56 in her group which I would prefer to be here. Um okay. So that that’s my um I just love all of you and I’m grateful to have this community and I would say that’s my check out is just that the just as this group is a reaffirmation to me of what community can mean and and continuity that um like you were saying Heidi to to Beatatric like you’ve actually seen her develop over a period of years even though it’s been relatively infrequent. It’s um that really really moved me because I thought 01:02:19 – 01:03:26 I had lost track of time. I didn’t realize you know and and uh and I’ve been yeah ever since we met during the pandemic so fortuitously through uh science and non-duality and it’s just um to me that’s the key to everything at the end of the day I think is is community and being with like-minded people and um so blessings to everybody. I’m going I’m probably going to since I didn’t manage that log logging in very well. Um I’m probably going to disappear now. But uh Heidi, you’ll let us know 01:02:51 – 01:04:24 when we meet again and safe travels and lots of love to everybody and um blessings to everyone. And what was the other thing? Anyway, I’m sorry. I think there’s still lots of people to check out. So um love and blessings to all. Byebye. I think more or less we have checked out all of us. Yeah. Do you want to say something else? Oh, Victoria, I’m I’m fine. I’m fine. Good. I was actually thinking of giving you a group um instant change session, but not now. This is I have to yeah prepare it a 01:03:42 – 01:04:32 little bit and but maybe next time we can when we meet again at at least a month we will have an interval now and then I’ll let you know when when I’m back and have good have a good summer. Don’t melt too much in the heat but melt your heart and be happy ladies. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. No boat.